Knowing what needs to happen does not always come with the will and ability to make it happen.
I have faith in a better future, I believe in a greater force of good working for a bright tomorrow, but minutes, hours, days, months have passed and still a tinge of bitterness lingers from yesterday.
I have gotten used to having that ache, that pain that is almost constantly nudging the deepest recesses of my heart and soul.
But getting used to it has not made it any easier, time and time again it comes back and while I know the attack is going to be brutal, while I know how and where and how devastating it would hit, it has never been able to prepare me to handle it...
I see clearly, I know the poison I am swallowing yet I cannot help but to swallow it...
I have long accepted the fact that there are things, many things, countless things not meant to be mine regardless of my efforts, sacrifices, blood, sweat, tears, whatever you may call it, I spent, invested, wasted on it...
In the eye of fate, the faithful and the faithless have no difference, neither are taller standing nor any shorter kneeling down, all equally crawls humbled...
I do not know what more lesson can be drawn from the perpetual pain, but the pain has yet to abandon me, perpetual, relentless, unforgiving...
Knowing what needs to happen, does not always come with the will and ability to make it happen.
...and in this world, the most lasting impressions come from bitterness.
For even Job feels he has been cheated when the worst comes.
